I got an interesting request today. It went something (or exactly) like this: “Would you please write a blog post about how it is possible to still love your child even while not feeding them paleo, organic meals, homeschooling, or rubbing them down with essential oils every day???” And I admit, I laughed out loud a little while sitting in the “waiting room” at the dance studio where I was busily planning my drive-thru dinner and how the heck all the children would be picked up from their various activities. I was pushing back the mom-guilt after reading the post about what time kids should go to bed based on their age and wake-up time, knowing that there was NO WAY we would be in bed before 8:30pm (or 9, but who’s counting?).
The truth is, I have had the worst month EVER in the history of months. Partly because I have teenagers who think they know all when they really know SQUAT and partly because I have littles who act like the teenagers. And partly because life is just hard sometimes. I get that. Doesn’t mean I am ok with it.
I think at the top of my list of “why this has been a hard month” is that I just feel like a failure as a mom. Because it isn’t rainbows and sunshine at my house as much as it is battles and tears and praying myself to sleep over the children that I just love so stinkin’ much it feels like my heart might break. The teen who doesn’t see the danger surrounding her. The 6 yr old that defies and demands and pushes and pulls until I am completely undone. The grown-up kid who just this month left my nest and is making his own and I just can’t seem to Let. Go. This mama’s heart is battle-worn and weary.
And then I see the posts about the bedtimes and the eating habits and the evil of public schools and the horrors of social media exposure and I just want to crawl under a rock and hide. Do I think that is the intent of the really passionate and dogmatic mom crowd? No. Does it still sting a little? Yes. And I want to scream at the top of my lungs: WE ARE ON THE SAME TEAM, PEOPLE.
To that single mom driving through Wendy’s on her way home because you know that you have homework to help with and chores to do- YOU ARE THE BEST MOM.
To that mom working in full time ministry because that is what God has called you to while other people help with your kiddos in the afternoon- YOU ARE THE BEST MOM.
To that homeschool mom ready to pull her hair out but determined to be obedient to what God has asked of her- YOU ARE THE BEST MOM.
To that mom cooking the healthiest food she can afford to help her children function at their very best- YOU ARE THE BEST MOM.
To that stay-at-home mom who really just wants a vacation in Tahiti but will settle for re-runs of The Middle with her hubby on the couch after the kids FINALLY go to sleep- YOU ARE THE BEST MOM.
And to that mom who cries and prays over one who has gone astray, believing that God will redeem and restore that which has been lost- YOU ARE THE BEST MOM.
Girls, we have got to stop thinking that whatever God has called us to, placed us in, or blessed us with is the only way. We have got to make room for each other and cheer for each other. You are the best mom for your kids. That is why God gave them to you instead of someone else. He knew you could do it, with His help. He knew there would be times when you would get to the end of your rope and would cry out to Him, and even that was by design. We desperately need Him, YES. But we also need each other.
Let’s be each other’s cheerleaders. This mom gig is hard. There are good days, yes. But I dare say the hard days come more often than any of us would prefer. So let’s lift each other up- RIGHT WHERE WE ARE.